December 26

Another Christmas past

Another Christmas past, more memories made, and it’s almost time to end this year.

Hopefully, the memories of this Christmas will be happy ones when the grandkids look back on the last few days.

Honestly, I’m glad it’s now December 26th and yet another Christmas has now past.

I always loved Christmas. As a child, it was always my favorite holiday. Of course, any child would probably say the same thing.

But not long into adulthood, I found myself looking forward each year to getting past another Christmas and starting a New Year.

The only things I’ve ever really wanted for my own children is for them to be happy, healthy and successful in life. I wanted them all to do better than I did in all things including relationships, happiness, and finances.

There are a lot of things I did wrong while raising my kids. I’ve admitted it and apologized to them all. I can’t go back and change any of it.

However, I always loved them and always tried to do the best I could at any given time in their lives. Yet my twins seem to not enjoy being around me much anymore.

Whenever I try to talk to them, they both swear to me there isn’t a problem between us. Promises of love and no unresolved grudges so they say.

But still, I have to beg them for any small amount of time with them. It’s like pulling teeth just to get conversations with them.

My son even promises to be at family events and holidays and then doesn’t show up. He sure never has a problem showing up at his dad’s and step-moms, even though he says his dad is the one he hates for things from his childhood.

This year, I’m done. I’m completely done with begging anyone to spend time with me. I’m so over trying to tip-toe around everyone else’s feelings while nobody cares about mine.

My oldest daughter speaks her mind to me, so does her husband. I never have to guess how they feel or where I stand with them. We spend as much time together as possible. And I don’t have to ask her for that time, she’s always asking me to come over or do things with them!

My psychologist says it’s because my oldest daughter is happy, secure and successful in her relationship/marriage. I totally agree she has a wonderful marriage and is very happy. But each of the twins seems happy with their own relationships, so I think their problem is with me.

Good luck to my psychologist figuring my family and my issues out! Great new goal for my new year… we will see how well my psychologist holds up to the task.

with love,

Shernie


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Posted December 26, 2019 by Sharon_Green in category "My Journal

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