December 6

Too much sleep

Too much sleep! There was a time in my life when I couldn’t get enough sleep!

While working as a nurse I never seemed to get enough sleep. Being on-call 24/7 for 5 years straight I felt like I never slept.

But now it feels like all I do is sleep. 14-16 hours at a time! Maybe my body thinks it’s making up for all those lost hours lol

I don’t think it really works that way. The more accurate reason for all my sleeping is probably my anemia. And maybe even my blood sugar.

Yesterday my doctor called with some of my lab results. I have been diabetic for 12 years now. At one point my diabetes was totally uncontrolled.

When first diagnosed I was on oral meds and insulin. Then I lost weight and eventually got control of my diet. For several years now I’ve only been on oral meds and NO insulin.

Now, yesterday when the doctor called my labs showed that my A1c results are very low. The normal range for A1c is between 4-6. Ranges over 6 usually determine a diabetic diagnosis.

So the normal range of 4-6 is usually a non-diabetic person. A diabetic that can stay in that range or even just above 5 is very well controlled. My results yesterday were 4.8 which is very low.

That’s actually amazing for me being diabetic. But I can’t take credit for working at controlling it. No, it’s because for months now I haven’t been able to eat much.

Yeah, my stomach and digestion is a big hot mess. I stay nauseous and don’t have an appetite.

Due to that, I have lost weight, a lot of weight. I now weigh 137 pounds. I haven’t weighed that little since third grade. No lie or exaggeration.

The first week in January I go back to Dallas for yet another type of colonoscopy. Perhaps I’ll finally find out what is really going on in there.

Honestly, I am a little concerned. Ok, I’m worried and a little scared of what they will find.

Not just because one previous test has shown “abnormal findings” and not because I’m a nurse and know all the possibilities of what that means.

No, I’m worried because my mom died of colon cancer. Her brother died of stomach cancer. And yes I know all the symptoms and warning signs.

But also because all the women on the maternal side of my family have died before age 63. My Granny died at 63 and she was the oldest.

My mom died at 60 just a year after her diagnosis of colon cancer. I’m 58 now.

All of this doesn’t worry me because of some kind of premonition or superstition. It just seems to be a big part of my genetics.

Accepting one’s own immortality is part of life. I know that, but facing it is still a bit scary. I am just now starting to really find “me”.

I am only now starting to really enjoy my kids and grandkids. I have discovered weekend trips with my daughter’s family. I want more of that!

Today I promise myself to not worry so much. Don’t borrow trouble! I won’t worry about what hasn’t happened yet. I will plan future trips and fun things to do. I will spend more time with all of my family.

Seize the Day
Live for the moment!

With love,

Shernie


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Posted December 6, 2019 by Sharon_Green in category "My Journal

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